You Sperm Sucking Fuck Bundle

I am so fucking pissed right now that it is kind of ridiculous.

I wrote a great blog that was filling you in on everything and it wouldn't post. I'm so aggrvated, that I actually don't even feeling like writing it over so I'm just going to leave it at this. I'm so pissed. So pissed.

Fuck you.

Fuck off.

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, drop dead!

....fuckers.

By the way, I'm going to see Lily Tomlin next month!!!! :)

You Can't Have Everything...Where Would You Put It?

( Me and Ashley)

Well folks, it has been too long. Too, too long. I haven't blogged in almost three months. Not that you all are racing to my page everyday to read them, but I really want to try to do this more often. I reminded my BFF Ashley that we haven't blogged in twenty years and she too agreed that it was time. Tonight, I bet her blog will be way more interesting than mine since her life is way more facinating! Ok, well let me update you on what has been going on, shall we?

October was a great month because I finally met my BEST FRIEND the one, the only ASHLEY PAIGE BUSHEY, aka the Patti LuPone to my Bette Midler, the CeeCee to my Hilary, the WIND BENEATH MY WINGS! She's my girl! I really would be nothing without her. We have the BEST friendship, and nobody will EVER take that from us. It's weird, I know that we're best friends and have only met once. None of that matters. When you call someone your best friend it doesnt matter exactly how close you physically are to one another. I can honestly say i've never had a friend like Ashley. I've never been able to call someone at 1am crying over some douchebag, I've never been able to count on someone to bitch at childish adults on facebook for me. Only Ashley! And I'm so lucky. Our friendship is something that i'll cherish forever and ever.

November was an OK month. Not the best. There was a huge blowout between me and some members of my family. You find out during these things who your real friends are. For all of you that just let me complain during that time, thank you! I'll make it up to you, I swear! Then my BFOF (best friend over 40) went away for two weeks. Life really isn't the same with out her, I learned that pretty fast. I tell her everything. And yes, be afraid because she knows WAY TOO MUCH about me. Hahahaha, but that's why I love her. When she came back on Thursday we were both SO glad she was back. Thank GOD! I realized then how much I really do need her...every day!!

Now it's December, and I can't believe it! Only 19 days left of Christmas shopping folks! I, like a fool, went out on black Friday, but to tell you the truth it wasn't that bad!!! For Christmas I wanna be a SMUG but I don't think thats happening. I asked for Lily Tomlin tickets so i'm crossing my fingers! December started off with Bette Midler's birthday on the first. How divine that woman is. Ugh! So of course I celebrated. God bless her, she's so talented. Today is the sixth already and i've only watched two Christmas movies so far. To Grandmother's House We Go and Deck The Halls (who doesn't love Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito?) I still have to watch:
A Christmas Story
Christmas Vacation
The Family Stone
The Santa Clause
Christmas With The Kranks
Scrooged
Smoky Mountain Christmas

I really do LOVE Christmas time :) So anyway, tomorrow is Monday which means school and dance until 9:00 then get up early on Tuesday mornings for my shots, then stay late for my writing tutoring. I really hate Tuesdays. I hope I actually do start blogging more. That way when people say, "What have you been up to?" I can just tell them to read my blog!" Oh, and here is a little HELLO to the person who I bet saw my twitter that said "Updated the Blog" and is now reading it. ;) Hi! <3

Until Next Time...

I learned a little something from you...

Tonight I want to write about someone who means a lot to me. I have a million apologies for her and I don’t even know where to begin. Ashley, I know I am stubborn, stupid, crazy, mean, and a million more things and I want you to know…I know! The way I treated you was WRONG! I didn’t see it at the time because I was angry and of course I was only seeing things my way, but there was your way to consider and I didn’t.

I hate myself for being the reason we have fought on and off for months. When you would tell me something – and you were right – I’d get mad because I knew you WERE right and I didn’t want to hear that about myself. Now wait, don’t get a big head because you weren’t ALWAYS right. Hahaha. You are smart enough to know when something is wrong and I don’t know that yet. You could always tell when something was wrong with me by my TEXT MESSAGES. How do you do that? And, you always cared.

I could call you up crying on your way home from school and you would answer. I could call you at one o’clock in the morning when I was upset about someone who was NOT even worth the anger and you talked to me. You are ALWAYS there for me, which of course, makes me wonder if you sleep or not. Anyway, I am totally admitting that I’m not a good friend like you and I don’t do those things for you. It’s not like I’m refusing, I just don’t think of it. But please, don’t ever think that I don’t care about you! That is so far from the truth that it should be dropping breadcrumbs.

Ashley, you are the best friend in the whole world. You know EVERYTHING about me. All my secrets and all my stories. I’ve never kept anything from you. I’m grateful to have you in my life for so many reasons. You care about me and what I’m doing. You make sure I’m ok. We talk about Bette like, oh my God. I tell you everything. You’d kick someone’s ass for me. You are the best friend anyone could ask for and I can’t compete with you.

If this were Beaches, this would be the scene in the “Pink Flamingo.” You’re talented, beautiful, smart, funny and such an incredible person and I’ve been so mean. I’m so sorry for everything. If I could take it all back I would. From now on, we’re going back to the old Kelsey and Ashley. Team K&A. I’m going to be a real best friend to you, not just a cunt. Well, I’ll always be a cunt, but now with love. :)

Well doll face, I’m crying as I’m writing this. I hate fighting with you even though we really aren’t at the moment but okay. Lol. I want you to know that you are my BEST FRIEND IN THIS WHOLE WORLD and I love you more than anything! I’ve always loved you, and I’m sorry that I hurt you. You are going to be in my life until the day I die. I hope you’re up for it. ;) Thank you for being you and slapping me across the face. You really are the best thing I have and I love you so much!

Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

Sixteen, and on and on and on and on ...

I'm sixteen now and really not much has changed. I've tried driving and when I went to get out of the car - SURPRISE, I didn't put it in park and it rolled. Only for a split second though but it felt longer. That scared me enough. I plan, of course, to try again but maybe this time with my dad.

Sixteen is going to be interesting. My party was GREAT. AND we got a lot of it on video, which was a big worry for me. For the summer, my BEST friend Ally is here and her two cousins from Italy came here for a few weeks too. I had met them for the first ime on August3rd and we all got along GREAT! We laugh a lot and like to seek revenge on those who deserve it. But thats another story. Anyway, my point was, was that they too came to my party and taught us dances we didn't know. Talking with them really made me realize how different Italy is. Giulia told me that a "date" in America isn't like it is in Italy. Actually, she said they really don't have "dates." If two people like each other, they just hang out. They go to each others houses and talk. Here, she went on her first date, date (which didn't go as planned...at all) They went out and went for dinner, something we all know about, but to her it was something new. I found it interesting.

So Ally, Giulia, Livia and I have gotten really close, and i'm sad that they're going back to Italy on Saturday. I won't see them again until next summer, but then we'll hang out more than we did this year. Then on Tuesday, Ally's going back to Florida and the school year will begin again soon and i'll be on my own again. Such is life. I have great friends, but no one like Ally. Ally whose real names are MIA SANDERSON ROSE JETER JOPLIN BROOKLYN AVERY ROMO NEDA BAYARRA TURKOGLU. Its all good. :)

WELL - tomorrow i'm going to see Big Brother and the Holding Company. I haven't seen them since I was 14! I hope they recognize me. Well, they know i'm coming! They always know. They are the greatest people ever and I could go on and on and on and on and on and on about how we've become a family who loves and supports one another, but i'm so tired and would just like to say i'm BLESSED to have them in my life.

So, I should go to sleep now and ... well, I probably won't sleep now. I could text, but i've already shut my phone off so people will leave me the hell alone, and its charging on the other side of the room, so for now...let it stay there. Maybe i'll write. I could...I have been neglecting my stories. Wow, I just thought of 90458959 more things to write about, but I'm done. Lol.

Sleep tight my babies!!

xoxoxo

Soon To Be Sweet Sixteen

Lordie be, I haven't blogged in so long. But, i'm here now and i'm talking! Ok well Ashley, my best friend isn't feeling very well so she won't be blogging. I haven't been up to much lately. Tuesday, i'll be 16. I don't feel like it. My party will be a week from tomorrow and i'm looking forward to that. I'm so used to my dad video taping my parties, but he won't be there so I really have no one to do it for me. I wish I did. I would love to have my Sweet 16 on video, but I may have to go without.

Last year for my birthday, I spent the day in Woodstock. It was amazing to see where Janis, and all the other people that don't matter as much as Janis played that weekend. Its a beautiful place. Even the shops that are there now were really something! Although, I found a lot more Janis items in Lake George.

(last year on my birthday in Woodstock with my dad and Erin)

This year for my birthday, I didn't ask for anything Janis. (God has been more than kind to me when it came to Janis) I have all the Janis i'll ever need. This year I asked for things with Jane Fonda's mugshot on it. Yes, I know - JaneFonda? YES! She's awesome. You can't NOT love her. And if you don't love her, well fuck ya then. Ok sorry...that was a bit much.



School starts on September 2nd. I do love my school, the teachers, the kids, but not the work. I manage merit list but wish I could do better. Don't we all? I can't believe I have only 2 years left before i'm on my own. College, to me is a MUST. My mother would kill me if I didn't go. I want to go, but not here. I know in my heart that I belong in New York. I've only been to the city once but i'll never forget it. I know thats where i'm supposed to be. Forget everywhere else. I can come visit my family, but God how I love to be alone. I never sleep in the first place which is why I want to be a 3rd shift ER nurse (dream big, right?) and New York NEVER sleeps.



Who knows what will happen? As for right now, i'm 15 for a few more days. Still in my "First Act" as Jane Fonda would say and Tuesday I will start the 2nd half of my first act. Time flies. Well, sweet dreams everyone! Until next time....



xoxoxo

I Believe In Music

Hello loves! Ok, so i'm so tired but I just had to blog. I haven't blogged in a while, but neither has Jane Fonda! I'm going nuts without reading her blog. Anyway, today was my grandmothers birthday and we had a party for her. Ally (one of my best friends) came and we planned out new stories to write. Thats what we do. We're story writers, but mostly story tellers. Bette Midler once said, "I never know how much of what I say is true." Not to confuse us with liars. Thats not what i'm saying.

So, what else? Well...i'm talking to my other best Ashley discussing our next movie night. Wanna hear how sad this is. Ok, well she lives in FL & I live in RI so since we're both obsessed with Bette Midler, OF COURSE we own all her movies. So every once in a while we put the same movie in, press play at the same time, and watch the movie while we're on the phone. We take turns picking the movie, but its always BETTE!

How funny is that...shes 17 and i'm 15. Normal girls our age are into the Jonas Brothers (who by the way, i'm seeing Friday with my younger sister) and Miley Cyrus and blah blah blah. And we're into...BETTE MIDLER? Lol. Its insane, but we are! I'm not saying the other people I mentioned aren't talented, but God - i've never seen a talent quite like Bette!

For years I always thought she was just the Wind Beneath My Wings lady. Well hell, she is, but SHE'S SO MUCH MORE! Once I heard her sing Stay With Me Baby I knew she was something else. Her version of I Shall Be Released touched me, I Believe In You makes me cry, Twisted is a GREAT feel good song. And oh my God lets not forget about her insane version of Beast Of Burden. Wow! Bette...is really amazing! Not to mention the fact that she is gorgeous!!!

Ok, enough about Bette. I'm gonna wrap this up because Ashley is losing her shit over the fact that she has to choose the movie. Lord! Later babes!

Thank You For Being A Friend

Sophia: I need the money for my old age.

Dorothy: Old age? You don't leave fingerprints anymore.

Rose: My mother always used to say: "The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana."

Rebecca: I'm havin' this baby in a birthin' center. They emphasize natural childbirth without any painkillers.

Blanche: Honey, I know I told you where babies come from, but did I ever mention where they come OUT?

Blanche: Well, just tell him you have a lot of work at home.

Rose: I don't want to lie.

Blanche: When you get home, we'll make you clean out the garage.

Rose: Oh thanks, I owe you big for this one.

Rose: Well, I'm here if you want to pick my brain.

Dorothy: Rose, honey. Maybe we should leave it alone and let it heal.

Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?

Sophia: Excuse me Rose, but I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves.

Dorothy: Hi, ma. Where are you going?

Sophia: To the boardwalk. I like to watch the old guys rearrange themselves when they come out of the water.